...What Do You Call Two Lesbians...?

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I'm not very good with jokes - remembering them or getting them - just ask Steve (our eldest) he always shakes his head in disbelief at me, but I always get an elephant jokes - like

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How can you tell an elephant's been in the fridge?

Footprints in the butter (of course)

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I even have trouble with the cracker style jokes - I know, I know -

I really didn't get this one at all & Dave had to explain it to me....

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What did the mother penguin say when her son went outside?

Beak - careful out there :-\

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But I have one saving grace I'm pretty good with the dirty jokes

and I got this one straight away :0)

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What do you call two lesbians floating down a river?

Fur Traders

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ME ;0)

...He Was Joking -- Wasn't He...?

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Dave's got one of those Energy Monitors - you know, the thing that tells you how much electric you're using at any one time - I thought it was a good idea when he first mention them but I'm beginning to think that maybe he's getting a little 'obsessed' with it.

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Every morning he checks what we used the day before & then if it's more than yesterday we have a discussion about it -- I know he's got to get out more, hasn't he?? -- well today the reading was 4 units more than yesterday so he asked. 'What had I use that I hadn't used before?'

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I told him that I'd only vacuumed and done the ironing and if it was a problem then I definitely wouldn't do it again to which he replied. 'No that's OK, just don't do it too often.'

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...He was joking -- wasn't he...?

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ME ;0)

...Ouch! That Hurt...

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We went to Mablethorpe yesterday as we've never been before and it was pretty much what we expected. A fairly run-down place with a couple of streets full of tacky 'gift' shops (I loosely use the term gifts!), amusements and greasy spoon cafes. We couldn't even see the sea because of the sea mist that was constantly rolling in - not that I'm a sea person at all - I'm much more of a 'show me a field' sort of person :0)

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There was quite a nice area to walk though, from the car park on the beach (where we were parked) to the attractions on the front - quite twisting across the hillside - the only trouble was that the path was covered in tiny pea shingle and I had flip-floppy style sandals on so that with almost ever step they got underfoot & boy they really hurt -- I know, what a wimp -- but you'll be pleased to know that I suffered it all in silence

......asif...

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ME ;0)

...I've Taken Precautions...

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As it was so warm and sultry last night (certainly makes a change around here!) I decided to keep both of our bedroom windows open. This isn't something I usually do, I always lock & bolt them down whenever we leave the building and at bedtime every night - no matter what the weather - but yesterday I felt reckless so I decided to keep them open!!

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They are those silly ones that tilt open from the bottom edge so anyone, with a mind to, can just lift them wide open from the outside....anyway, they can be locked open and that's what I did....

NOTE FOR CHRIS: 'stop shaking your head'

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I mentioned that I'd left the windows open as Dave & I were lying in bed & he poo-pooed the idea as something I DON'T do. I was just about to enter the land of nod when he suddenly said out aloud 'OMG! you have left them open I can hear the main road' (that'll be the A153 in the distance -- in case you're interested!) --

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I replied, rather sleepily 'Don't worry, we'll be safe. I've taken precautions'.

to which Dave started laughing at what I'd said - I didn't quite see the funny side - well it was around 1am and I was hot and sticky

....and not in a nice way - I can tell you....

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ME ;0)

...Sweating Your What Off...?

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the 'before' photo -- obviously --

gosh! what a gloriously warm & sunny day it is today (Dave's weather station says: 24c in shade) - it makes such a change from the damp, cold days that we've recently been having here in Lincolnshire - it might be lovely in Lincs but it certainly hasn't been warm.

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Dave's sweating his 'you know what!' off refurbishing & repainting the garage today - I don't know any excuse to get his shirt off and parade that toned body

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...Yeh Right...

ME ;0)

...What A Sunset...!!!

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wow what a sky!

- taken outside our bungalow -

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I think that because we live on the edge of the village surrounded by open fields on two sides it really helps to see some great sunsets and we've photographed a lot of them since we've been here.

The best ones seem to be on the days when the weather has been quite changeable and they end with a spectacle sight and one of us rushes off to get the camera - not that we're anything other than real amateurs, of course (what do you mean, you can tell?).

...we've yet to see a sun-rising as that would mean up having to get up early and we don't do early...

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ME ;0)

...Why Are The Shops Shut...?

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aarrh!

We went to Spilsby yesterday afternoon - it's our nearest town about 6 miles away - it's a very small market town & a little run-down but it has some lovely 'on-off' shops - no corporate marketing there and I really like it. We arrived around 3pm to find that most of the shops were shut due to half-day closing...OMG! do they still do that? well obviously they do in Spilsby :0(

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However, we did manage to find the curtain shop open and I bought some lovely fabric to re-cover our dining room chairs (& I got her to knock £6 off the asking price) -- well, it's a job for Dave really --

and one of the greengrocers was open so I bought a bit of locally grown veg and a load of fat balls for the birds (so they'll be fed for another week).

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We split up & Dave thought I was going back to the car but I stopped at the building society on the way and he said that as he walked towards the car thinking that I was in it. He sucked in his stomach and strode towards the car, winking as he went...and then felt such a fool when he realised that I wasn't even in the car...

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I wish I'd been a fly on the wall - would have made my day to see that

ME ;0)

...Brothers...

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Tony Harry
Paul Steven

Heard from two of my four brothers yesterday which is always nice -

Paul (eldest) was home and busy repairing the downstairs rooms after they had a major water leak back in January and it's still on-going with the repairs. He and the family were at our place for a leaving party at the time and arrived to several inches of water on the floor when they returned - not a nice way to end an evening out, is it??

Tony (second youngest) phoned from work - obviously not that busy then! - for a chat and catch-up. He's hoping to come and see us over the August bank holiday so we're looking forward to that if it works out.

I rarely hear from the other two - Mark Richard only lives about 1.5hr from us (& typically we hardly speak) and Daryl Robert lives in Canada so that's a bit further away but we occasionally email each other.

Oh Well! we all have our lives - so be it -

ME;0)

...Our Posh Cat...

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This is Beattie, our posh cat - as you can see she's got her nose inside a carton of Haagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream - only the best for her obviously.

I can't see what she sees in it myself, I'd much rather have a tub of a locally hand-made Pistascio - now that really IS worth getting down on all fours for, I can tell you -

ME ;0)

...Jazz In The Rain...

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Dave & I went to an open-air jazz concert at Bolingbroke Castle last night and it rained the whole damn evening and it was also so bloody cold with it.

We took wicker chairs and a picnic and sat there in the rain under Dave's fishing umbrella trying to keep warm and enjoy the proceedings - that's such a British thing to do, don't you think?

Jazz isn't really our thing - so it was a bit silly to go anyway, I suppose - but it was a pretty good show despite the weather and the local youth jazz orchestra did a fair job...even with a few bum notes...

ME ;0)

...One Of Those Days...

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...some days are a total waste of make-up...

today was one of those days :0(

ME ;0)

...Mid Life...

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Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a crop top and scream,

'Listen sweetie, even the Roman empire fell and those will too.'

ME ;0)

....A Little Joke...

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....what did the left nut say to the right nut?

that dude in the middle thinks he’s hard....

don't you just love a handful of nuts?

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ME :0)

...If They're Good Enough For Ribena...

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... side garden...



WOW! I've just been in the side garden picking our very own blackcurrants for tea - isn't that just so cool?? I'm becoming a real country girl picking fruit from the garden and then eating it that day. We've never had fruit in the garden before and I'm just so excited - easily pleased, obviously -

We've also got an apple tree there and I've been watching them swell and ripen (our neighbour said that they are very sweet) - hopefully, I'll be picking them soon.

...Dave's not that keen on blackcurrants but I told him if they're good enough for Ribena then they're good enough for him...

ME ;0)

...A Quiet Monday...

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It's been a quiet day today now that Tom & Danielle have returned home - he text last night when they got in - and said that he had to come back to the Midlands (Nottingham to be exact) - as he had just been offered a gig there next week...let's hope that the M11 is fully open by then :0)

Dave's been beavering away in the hall today - the kitchen is finally finished - well except for a couple of skittle lamps that I want put up as he's already moved on to the next room.

Steve phoned this morning from Oz for a chat and catch-up - he sounded really tired. He's in investment banking and said that he's putting in 12 hour days at the moment because the workload is so heavy. He's confirmed that he's definately coming back for three weeks in November - that's still a mind-numbing 116 days

...in case you're counting...

ME ;0)

...Well That's It Then...

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...Well That's It Then...

another set of visitors come and gone - Tom & Danielle left around 3.30pm heading for home (South London) - they were making a stop in Peterborough to say a quick hello to Danielle's nan first before completing their journey. I don't expect they'll be home much before midnight - Danielle has the day off work tomorrow but Tom's got to be in by 9am - hopefully it won't be raining for him when he cycles in the morning....

We spent another morning at a bootfair in Woodhall Spa and there was a table fair in Kirkby on Bain (lovely village). We had a pub lunch (the pork melted in your mouth!) in Revesby before returning here so that they could pack up the car and leave

...I must admit to feeling upset that he was going so quickly - but needs must and he needs to go home and I must get use to it...

ME ;0)

...How Much Is This, Mate...?

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Tom & Danielle arrived in the early hours of this morning - 12.45am to be exact - because the M11 was closed for the night for roadworks!! They were diverted and that put another hour and a half on the journey - great - just what they wanted after both working all day & travelling in the dark and the lashing rain!!

After a catch-up chat, we all finally got to bed at around 3am. We were up again at 9am though as we decided to do a couple of local boot-fairs (Danielle wasn't keen - not her idea of fun) but they bought a bread maker so she was more than happy to have lost the couple of hours sleep :0)

Dave bought chocolate Tracker bars :-/ and I bought items to sell on eBay - so all in all we all returned happy. T+D have now gone for a bike ride while the sun is shining (I don't expect it'll last!), Dave's watching fishing on Sky (yawn!) & I'm blogging

...so everything is peaceful in the Humphrey household...

ME ;0)

...Boy! My Man's Moody...

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Dave has been in such a 'touchy' mood today and not in a nice way I might add... He's been very prickly and irritable at the slightest thing all day...and he's not normally like that. He's really pretty easy going and doesn't get too stressed - well most of the time :0)

I'll give you an example of what I mean - He has been in the garden for most of the day - when the rain stopped that is, trimming bushes, doing a bit of weeding and things. I went out to help him (not my idea of fun, I must admit!) and started picking up the debris that he was leaving behind and all he could say was 'If you're going to do it then pick it up properly' - How do you NOT pick up leaves and weeds properly?

As you can imagine I couldn't let the comment go without a reply and words were spoken - well more like a 'snarl' actually - and I strided back indoors, leaving him to it.

A couple of hours later he came in and said 'I thought you were helping in the garden'

...he knows the rules - one chance and then that's it, I'm off...

ME ;0)

...Look Out Of The Window...

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I see that the weatherman got it COMPLETELY wrong again today. They said last night that it would rain ALL day with thunder...needless to say, it's been dry - all day - and pretty sunny and warm. It actually got up to 23c while we were in Boston this morning.

I do wonder sometimes how they can still get it so wrong so often when they have all this state of the art technology at their fingertips.

as I always say to Dave, if you wanna know what the weather is doing

....Look Out Of The Bloody Window...

ME ;0)

...Our Tommie's Coming To Stay...

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-YIPPEE-DIPPY-DO-


'Our Tommie' is coming for the weekend - with Danielle - of course :0).
It'll be the first time they've been here since we moved up in March and will be staying for the whole weekend!! They're driving up after work on Friday - so should arrive around 10pm and going back Sunday afternoon after lunch. I'm so looking forward to seeing them.

Tom texts, emails and phones all the time and chats away for ages telling us his news and how things are going at work - he works at Cargo Records in London and how the latest gig or retro gaming evening went. So Dave & I are kept well informed -
....well, the bits he wants us to know about anyway....

It's really strange how kids change - when Tom was little and at school (primary & grammar) it was like getting blood out of a stone to find out how things were going and what he'd been up to that day - now once he gets started there's no stopping him.....

ME ;0)

...What Do You Mean - I've Seen You Nude...??

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...Well I'm Back & To Prove It I'm Here...

First day back after a fantastic week away with hubby in North Yorkshire - I love it there ~ just simply love it there - it's all about the 'nothingness' of the moors and surrounding area that does it for me

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I dream of a house in the middle of a field with NO neighbours nearby as close to the moors as we can get. I don't consider myself to be anti-social but boy I love my own company and could easily live without seeing people for days and days.

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The thought of being able to turn the volume up on the 'ole' Bose and walk around the place in a dressing gown or even the nude when I fancy it, is just so appealing - don't you think??

The idea I mean, not the thought of you seeing me in the nude

no, that'll defo leave a bad taste in your mouth

ME ;0)

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