...A Paddy Joke...

outside temp:  12c

dampness

Paddy shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

"No", shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!"

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...Poncey Sandwiches...

outside temp:  9c
dull & then sunny!

?? --  I was just making a sandwich for lunch

and got to thinking -- ??

'How do you cut your sandwiches?'

I always cut mine in half - even if the slice of bread is small - and often, I have to admit to having triangles... I do however stop at removing the crusts

....unless....

 it's horrid crusty bread then they just have to go!

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Dave on the other hand - just stuffs them in regardless - with no consideration to bread size or variety and just shakes his head with a small sigh when he sees mine all cut up and uniformed.

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So next time you make a 'quick' sandwich for yourself

Give It Some Thought  :D

...But, I Don't Do Politics...

outside temp:  9c
damp & dreary

I've always thought that 'I don't do politics' and for years have let issues go 'over my head' and never participated in heated discussions, but as I've got older & maybe a bit wiser I find that these days I always seem to have an opinion.

  I often surprise Dave & even myself, about how hot under the collar I get about things that as I see as 'cut & dried' but of course, they rarely are that black and white.

Mind You - wouldn't life be so much easier if they were?

...I Hate Sport...

outside temp:  6c
wet-wet rain :(


Dave's watching yet another football match on tv & it made me realise that

I R E A L L Y don't like:

sport - ANY SPORT - I've never liked it and never will. 

I use to dread PE at school and always bunked off at every possible opportunity and in all my 53 years have never once entered into the world of the so-called sporty enjoyment  - just ask Dave!

I don't - play it- watch it - indulge in it -

Do You Think Maybe

I Just Don't Like Sport??

...How Cute Are Hedgehogs...?

outside temp:  2c
blooming hell, it's getting colder around here!

When I was flicking through our local paper yesterday, I read an article on a Hedgehog Hospital in the area that are holding open days next weekend to raise money & awareness so I said to Dave.

'Shall we go?'

To which he replied.

'If you like - we can take grapes to cheer them up'

I had to laugh as I had this vision of rows of hedgehogs in beds with their arms in slings and bandaged heads looking all forlorn.

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...I tell you, it's all in the imagination...

...I Think I'm Gonna Puke...

outside temp:  3c
cold-COLD-C O L D

We had roast chicken for dinner this evening (and very nice it was too) but I forgot to put the Yorkshire puddings in the oven on time 

- yes, I know tradition says that you're suppose to serve them with beef-

so we ate the chicken dinner first and for dessert Dave ate them with
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Caster Sugar & Butter all OVER them
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PUKE _ PUKE _ PUKE

...Just Booked A Little Piggie Holiday...

outside temp:  3c
been raining ALL day :(

I've just booked a little B+B holiday in Cheshire for Dave's birthday treat in March

- I'm already looking forward to it - 

which always helps when you go on holiday, doesn't it? 

 I mean, what's the point of going away if you don't look forward to it, Right?

-------------------------

It's on a piggie farm - I like Pigs - I've told Dave that when we get our 'proper' house and settle down for good! that I'm gonna have a couple & some hens - the ones with the furry feet - they are just too cute for their own good - might even add a cow to the menagerie

--  what do you think  --?

See I've got it all planned but Dave says.

 'NO, who'll look after the animals when we go away?'

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....Maybe he's got a point...

after all I don't want to give up my little holidays  :)

...Bloody Typical...

outside temp:  6c
cold & damp

I was so tired last night that I was in bed by half past nine & I don't remember laying awake so I must have gone straight off to sleep. 

But by midnight I was wide awake, so of course had to get up to go to the loo 

--  like you do - well, like I do!  --

so after getting back into bed, I just lay there and you know what it's like, I'm sure - the mind starts to wander & you think about all sorts of stupid stuff that's of no importance but nevertheless you can't shake it from your mind.

Anyway, finally I dropped back off to sleep but only 'cat napped' and was awake again & again - tossing & turning  --  thinking to myself.

'Any minute now, Dave's going to start moaning about the bed moving all the time'

But no not him, he slept soundly, of course!!

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And then just when I was finally back in the land of nod

the miggin, piggin alarm goes off

....Bloody Typical...

...Whew! It Was Only A Dream...

outside temp:  6c
sunny - still chilly

I had this dream last night

 - it only lasted a minute or two -

at least that's what it felt like.

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I was at work organising a cruise holiday and was standing in a room surrounded by piles & piles of paperwork all at various 'tower' height and to the side of me was a huge bundle of bed sheets tied up & I had to find the piece of paper that related to the sheets....it was a massive job & I was just standing there not knowing where to start....

Then I woke up.

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I told my boss about the dream this morning and he smiled and said.

'Don't worry, Jan we don't do cruises'

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He's definitely a man to state the obvious :)

...I Want This Hat...

outside temp:  9c

cold but bright

I  L o V E  this hat

This Is The One I want For Tom's Wedding

...just gotta find it now...

...Warning, Warning - Mouse Alert...

outside temp:  9c
damp & dull

I love Tom & Jerry - the way that mouse darts around makes me howl - but NOT in the real live flesh and today in the office

...WE HAD A MOUSE... 

EEK!  I was out of there in a flash I can tell you.

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I blame my mum, as she wasn't afraid of anything -- except mice --  my childhood memory is of mum standing on a chair - Tom & Jerry style as it happens - screaming at the top of her voice.

 'Dennis, there's a mouse, kill it, kill it.' 
To which dad always answered.
'It's more scared of you, than you are of it.'

...Yeah Right!...

..What A Job...

outside temp:  13c
another mega windy day

...anyone got a torch...??

...Who Am I...?

outside temp:  12c
windy mighty windy

My name is Janet Humphrey.

I work at Lawton's Executive Coaches.

My favourite household chore is making the bed - yeh I know - sad!

My biggest accomplishment is having two wonderful sons.

My best decision - made thirty years ago - was marrying my soul-mate, Dave.
This year I will work toward losing weight!

My dream holiday location is the North Yorkshire Moors.

My dream job is the one I'm currently doing, actually!

My all time favourite movie is Gone with the Wind.

I love to listen to music.

My favourite website is eBay!

I'd most like to meet - Tom & Jerry :)
I love to shop at Phase Eight.

My favourite TV show - at the moment - is Glee.

My favourite possession is my i-pod.

I never leave home without my credit card.

A random fact about me is......

I love to laugh  :D

...I Wanna Go Home Now...

outside temp:  9c
bright & breezy

You know there are days when you really wished that you'd rolled over when the alarm goes off and stayed in bed calling in sick
- well believe me, today was one of those days -

come to think of it - yesterday was one too :(

I said to Dave yesterday when I awoke.

'I don't want to go to The Madhouse today.'

But like a fool off I went & it was mega busy, the phone never stopped ringing, the damn website just WOULDN'T do what I wanted and there were drivers in and out saying.

'Can you just....?'

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But, it was NOTHING compared to today.  On arriving I said to everyone.

'I'm only doing quick, easy jobs today.' 

What A Joke?

It was the worse morning I've had by far - off the stress scale - the boss & I were on the phone the whole time, checking websites & sending emails trying to organise a 'gone wrong' booking....which on the face of it looked like it was totally my fault - EEK! - I don't make many mistakes but boy, when I do they are Humongous...

In the end I said.

'It's my fault I'll phone the client and tell her'

So taking a deep breathe & expecting an argument I phoned her and started to explain and her first sentence was

'That's fine Janet, I'll just change the days.'

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I tell you I almost climbed down the phone line and hugged her!

...The Rug's Awake...

outside temp:  6c
almost balmy :)

Dave took Beattie (cat) to the vets yesterday for her annual jabs & apparently she wasn't happy - NOT happy at all! 
He said that she hissed & spat her way through the whole procedure even with the nurse holding her down with her gauntlets on - they just about managed to 'stick' her - she also needed her claws trimming but was having none of it - so Dave brought her home.

Beattie Pussy-Cat

During the evening while she was sleeping in front of the log burner I walked passed her but she didn't move so I nudged her and still she just lay there without moving - she didn't even open her eyes - I must admit, my heart did miss a beat so I pushed her harder and she eventually opened her eyes & sat up.

With a smile, I said to Dave.
'Pity, she would have made a nice rug there in front of the burner.'

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...Is That Too Wicked...??